Sunday, August 29, 2004

Diary of a mad women

Slow realization that anyone reading this will know fuck all about me except I have a mate called Sam who thinks she's a goldfish. I decided to make my very own factfile.
NAME: Boogie
AGE: Fifteen
SEX: Male- Repressed female side watches "Judging Amy." Guys who stare at my chest get shown my leg hair.
DESCRIPTION: Blonde hair with red tints after friends egged me into "temporaly" dying it, green/blue eyes, wears brothers clothes.
PARENTS: MOTHER: Mu
FARTHER: Much adored hippy farzer OCCUPATION: Hippy/ works with expelled kids.
Pets: Dog- Lizzie,who craps on the pavement just to laugh at me, Cat-Dulcie-adorable. Identity confused Sam.
BOYFRIEND: A red machine that vibrates, oh that sounds rude. Erm her names Leila but on her birth citificate it says Lola. She's gorgeous, has two wheels and wears perfume ala petrol.
ADDRESS: Behind the GIANT cherry tree, in the blue room, my head.

posted by Boogie @ 8:46 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Top six things to do in Coventry

Being a teenager in Coventry can sometimes be boring, but don't worry I've come up with some boredom beaters tried and tested by moi:
  1. When sitting on the bus full of old ladies talk really loudly about something gross enough for them to complain about the youth of today.
  2. Go into virgin megastore and scream whenever you see a C.D. When they ask you to leave, crawl up on the floor and tell them about your "C.D fear". Demand compensation.
  3. Hide on top of toilet cubicles and jump down on whoever enters. Funny if they desperately needed the loo.
  4. Go to church . . . YES!! Fart quietly thoughout the service, when some one comments on the smell say its is the lords presence (is that a sin?).
  5. Hug pedestrians and then hide, watch their bewildered faces from a distance.
  6. Make rumbling noises in the lift in Alders whenever someone presses a button. If they look at you put on a surprised face as if you are innocence itself.

Boogie

posted by Boogie @ 8:53 PM 0 comments

Sunday, August 22, 2004

American pie, don't be gross

ARRHHHH me hearties. . . . sorry I couldn't restrain myself, I've always wanted to say that.
This is a spooky episode (EPISODE??!!) because something kind of strange happened to me recently. I was sitting in my room being recluse when I smelt something strange which made me think of my much adored hippy farzer. Then I felt a over welming sense of loss.
Later that evening my hippy farzer came round ours rather wine on the old tipsy. Saying witty comments too loudly, which are only funny when one is drunk themselves. When suddenly drunk hippy farzer says, "I've booked my ticket for September by the way." translation meaning that sober hippy farzer will be leaving on a jetplane from Britain to the U.S of A. Permently. The thing is at the time even though its all serious and my family are in shock, the only thing I want to do is laugh histerically. If I had I knew I would of ended up on "THE COUCH" and would've been extremely bashful. Its something I can't help serious situations make me laugh. I wouldn't last a day in the army Id be on the floor laughing at the army guy shouting at us scumbags.
So there you go a little insight into my world, I couldn't give you a big insight because it would disturb you, and believe me I know I LIVE in my world.
BOOGIE

posted by Boogie @ 10:01 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

There's a fine line between love and hate

Random topics my friend Sam (I know this whole blog should be a tribute to her) is regally muddled about:
  • Her taste in music
  • Romeo and Juliet
  • Globerlisation

We start discussing these subjects when I kindly correct her mistakes. We then end up arguing for about a hour. Eventually the vain on Sams head bursts. She then smashes something, bites anything soft in close proximity or aims a punch at me, misses and leaves a hole in the brick wall. I then quickly apologize and we are very nice to each other for a month or so. It sucks that Im banned from saying "Juliet" in front of her.

BOOGIE

posted by Boogie @ 2:39 PM 0 comments

The two AAs-Anger management and Art. . . .

You proberly have a gym teacher whose a bit of a sick twisted sadist, who ate all the pies and made YOU run round the track to burn off the calories. But aren't art teachers surppost to be nice?! I always thought art teachers where nice people who actually liked children and had a passion for art. But like always I seemingly thought wrong. My art teacher is slightly confused to say the least. Not only does she leave me wondering whether she actually appreciates the joys of teaching. She regally tells my art class to move classrooms but upon getting to the location she will find us, declare us "lost" and tell us off for moving from our normal classroom.
The slightly misguided lady has also given us homework for the summer holidays. Which is very silly because sadly half of my art class will be so stoned throughout the hols that by the time they remember their age and the list of art home work; they will sitting in the lesson.
My dear friend Sam (who has a anger management problem) and I where discussing this problem, when we came upon a conclusion. Next year Sam will use expletives in her work and I . . . . am refusing to paint.
Talking about my dear friend Sam she recently told me of a dream she had about graphically killing someone in my year. If anyone else had told me this I would feel disturbed and would have instantly dialed for the men in white coats; who are coincidently great friends of mine. However the person is not um. . . . nice at all so I can see where Sam is coming from. Id rarther she dreamt about it than did it.
BOOGIE

posted by Boogie @ 2:10 PM 0 comments

Random passing thoughts

Blog is a weird word. It sounds like alien speak or something, uh oh this seems like some alien signal to the other aliens left on their home planet to came and invade us. THIS IS AWFUL CALL THE ARMY, THE POLICE, CHANGING ROOMS OR SOMEONE!!!

I wonder if the old lady who lived in a shoe ever decided she wanted a more rustic looking home and moved into a clog??

Do you think people who get one of these blogs fill it up with fucking swear words and nonsensicle fucking rubbish, I mean how fucking stupid are they.

I am a potato.


BOOGIE

posted by Boogie @ 10:00 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Loss of a dear friend and the beginning. . . .

Well I hate to start something new off on a bad start, but Id like to you know acknowledge someone close to me who has touched my life. Im not going to bore you saying all the cliches (although it would amuse me slightly) assioated with death. This is how our wonderful relationship started:
Are you sitting comfortably two square on your botty then I shall begin. Yesterday I was taking my annual bath when I noticed a beautiful grasshopper staring at me. We spent a hour talking about humanity, the world and philosophy. Even though I didn't know his name, and vice verser I learned so much.
Today to my dismay I discovered the wise, elegant creature on my stairs with the grip of death in his black eyes, twitching as life left him. These where our final words:
Grasshopper: Im dying.
Me (whispering): Im sorry I don't know what to do, Im sorry.
I started crying and my heart ached- no it wasn't heart burn you insensative clout.
Grass hopper: Take me outside I want to die in the sweet arms of mother nature.

So I did.
If I had taken him outside earlier I would have saved him, but that was my human nature. I was selfish I wanted to talk to him other bath times. Lovely way to start a blog, now your going to think Im mad talking to grasshoppers. So what? Quite frankly if you think that; fuck you, I am in grief and have reached the angrey stage which makes me want to punch cushions etc.
Sorry to write so much, I know large quantities of writing puts people off esp. the dumb people out there (angrey stage of grief).
Not that anyone will read this NO-ONE reads blogs (according to my brother) Im doing this for my own self gratification also its proberly a saner way of talking to myself.
Im going now to listen to bikini kill and talk to Sam my female friend with a anger problem.
BOOGIE

posted by Boogie @ 9:15 PM 0 comments