Basically I have a tantrum and make it new year already
Don't worry my devoted audience I didn't fall off the edge of the world, I crawled back up using the elastic of my knickers, some dinner napkins and a biro. Or something of that effect.
Much to my disappointment its not summer holidays anymore which means I have to go to school again. Ah compusary education. Comforting howling school girls in putrid bogs, listening to my friend's weird dreams about monkey training, scrounging food off my friends. Yet another year.
Right on to the hot topic, I don't particularly like Christmas- bah humbug, no Im joking I don't mind other people celebrating it, but its kind of wrecked for me. Therefore its not my favorite time of year. For me the new year starts on the new school term, so here is my polished knick knacky new years resolutions. I WILL:
- Remember Coventry and Califonia start with the same letter but are not the same.
- Stop sleeping in my bed when there's is lots of pens hidden in the sheets. Lets just say there's been many a strange dream. Foot note for devoted audience of one -aka Sam-not in a rude way you sicko.
- Be less mean.
- Start flushing the loo again no matter how grouchy it makes me.
- Stop picking my nose so when the regular family conversation comes around I can lie with a clear conscience, also they wont have footage this time!! Actually that's pretty ironic considering what I've just done. . . .
- Try and cut down use of the course work/ shower cap.
- Stop accerdently giving my knee hickeys when I get bored.
- Never get drunk in someone else's garden and sing "F*ck the pain away" for hours in a row again.
- Stop removing items of underwear in public places no matter how confining they are.
- Possibly swear more?
- Not watch as many horror movies because they make me jumpy for two days in a row.
- Avoid the wet patch on the bathroom floor.
- Stop saying to people who recognize me and I don't recognize back "Oh yes of course I know you I stalk you."
- Write a lot less lists, oh man that makes me want to bite my hand its like taking away my safety blanket, and beleive me I sleep nakid.
Right, now repeat after me children; lists to stop us falling into the abyss, lists not to accuse, not to organize, not to assit, lists just for the heck of it.
BOOGIE
