Friday, October 28, 2005

Boredom nibbles at the edges and goes hungry.

Going back to school I've become slightly bored to kick the boredom where it hurts, or at least feebly punch it I started a quote book collecting quotes from what I hear around me. Here is a pick of the best:

"Noel Gallagher geekfish." - My lil bro Pootle describing the lead singer of Phantom Planets, who by the way are shit.

"Nature in all its horniness." - Wise words from Poobelle.

"What he takes your clothes off and sucks you?" - Poobelle replacing the word eat with suck on the subjects of sweets leading to a dramatic effect.

"When Kyle's friends turn against him then he'll come crawling back to us." - Poobelle.

"It's OK he'll do it again." - Poobelle on the subject of one of our mates fuckup boyfriend cheating on her.

"I thought he only kept his cat for company and pleasure." - GiGi on postman Pat.

"I lover yjoy so much Joy." - Sam slightly intoxicated.

"Joy you are a demented piss head who needs mental help." - Rosie, disturbingly enough one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.

"Where is my one and only spoon."- My mum when we had the spoon shortage crisis.

"Your little private world is unhealthy."- Mum talking to me.

"Stickmen are unappreciated."- Naomi we generally leave her and her jokes to themselves.

"Don't drink. Take drugs instead they're much more fun."- My Dad ironically enough it was said on the day when he got drunk and then told me not to smoke straws.

"Observe children if you cut it up you cannot see its evil heart."- Me, its better if you don't ask.

"Im a great actor. When Im by myself."- Typical Poobelle.

"Or when you're sober pretending to be drunk and everyone becomes abusive." - Poobelle very random, nobody knows what the hell she was on about. Deep emotional scars there.

"In love with God but perfectly sane." Nay-Nay on Joan of arc.

". . . then I got out the shower took my pants off and I was like 'oh they're still dry!'"- Poobelle.


Finally a conversation between me and Mad written down near the back of my quote book:
"Me: I came out with a book.
Mad: I came out with two.
Me: Yeah but you were eating one and using the other to brush your hair.
Mad: No I wasn't.
Me: You're weird.
Mad: You can talk!
Me: You're the one who thinks fetus can read in the womb.
Mad: You started that!
Me: Yeah but I don't know any better, you should."

BOOGIE

posted by Boogie @ 10:36 PM 0 comments

Monday, October 17, 2005

Observations from behind a cling film like layer of floaties dots and the occasional appearance of electric blue stars.

If you say spoon in a certain way it feels like you're giving birth to one.

Hugging GiGi is like hugging a reluctant sausage.

A few have asked whether I've hugged a sausage before, take it from me nothing beats that warm glow in your stomach and greasy stain on your top after a sausage hug. Not that Im saying GiGi leaves stains on my tops after I hug her. . .

I've hugged a few spoons too recently. Some people might say this is because Im emotionally deprived or horny or something. Some people however could be wrong. Some people could be smart arses. And some people could be wrong smart arses.

There's nothing quite as satisfying as waking up and discovering you've drooled all over your pillow in your sleep. The delightful smacking noise your mouth produces sticking back together when you close it after hours of being open is also very rewarding. Its worth waking up in the morning in the hope you might find your cheek covered in your own saliva, the rest of the day will no doubt be shit but those few seconds of before reality gradually comes into focus where you think, 'Maybe just maybe I've drooled on myself' are worth all the shit you have to endure today.

The re-appearance of minty blue gel toothpaste in my life after a geless void of tens years has improved my life vastly. Oh yay I have another reason to wake up in the morning, that happy ray of freshness always there to brighten up my day.

For a while there was a certain devious crow following me around squawking whenever one of my feet hit the ground whilst I was having a scenic ramble through my home city ("And on your right you will see yes more concrete pavement with a impressive array of used condoms; a sign of the cities magical quality at night and enchanting pools of spit. One of the many attractions in this great city Im sure you'll agree along with the famous photograph opportunities of the pervert icecream man and of course the occasional lost postman."). I began to wonder about my baseball booties and considered taking them back to the shop and demanding a refund on the basis they kept squawking whenever I walked home from school.

Head of the tourist board at the abyss has recently released this statement in a bid to increase tourism, " The views of the abyss this time of year are its best. Miles upon miles of endless black sky are a breath of stale air. Come rent a room now its the peak of the season and this is when we have most of our customers."
Yeah I am going to run with the abyss joke for a while longer it's what minty blue gel toothpaste is to my mornings.

I am unbelievably mentally stable right now.
BOOGIE

posted by Boogie @ 8:21 PM 0 comments

Saturday, October 08, 2005

For the love of Tabby.

Last night I was up until one in the morning doing normal Friday night things- writing reading and listening to the punk rock show on Kerrang 105.2. Its fair to say that I was up in the middle of the night due to how worked up I was. To cut a long story short I've been pretty out of it lately, more out of it than usual. I have no idea why, it's just the way things are. Somewhere along the way in those slightly erm, yellow* hours the image of a typewriter presented itself before me. Rising (that's hard enough in itself Im not doing any fucking shining) in the morning the image remained like ink impressed on paper.
It stayed and jumped out of my mouth in the form of, "I want a typewriter." My Mother produced her ancient one, I had no idea of its existence. The machine is beautiful and has a moorish smell. Of course Tabby and I bonded, the clicking noise as you slam the letters is immensely satisfying, the ping at the end of a line friendly and as Poobelle would say, "soothing to the heart." Its very physical punching the letters it seems to push out more than words, possibly aggression? In fact typewriting I've observed is a lot like masturbating. Not that Im talking form experience here. Look at the comparisons though; you do it in your room all alone, it can get kind of addictive, you feel a little bit dirty (ink), other people who don't do it don't understand it and if you tell people how obsessed you are about it they give you weird looks. Plus if you do it for a loooongggg time fuck does your arm hurt.
I have noticed that our household has a PC, its not the same. It something about being in my room with something that belongs to me, something that no one can delete easily. Solid and reliable. Tabby is mine.
Im worried the Tabbys' ribbon will run out. I'd cry if I couldn't get a new one, please if you know where I can get some please tell me.

BOOGIE
*Refer to Joy's ultimate guide to clouds for explanation.

posted by Boogie @ 10:58 PM 0 comments