The day death wanted a piggy back.
Now and again I seem to dig my nails into something and not let go. Eventually it spirals out of control until there is nothing else except for that thing. The thing will grow gain breath leading to a sort of climax.Recently my life started to flash before my eyes, throwing up images, faces from the past I didn't realize I'd saved. The obvious explanation was I was dying. That could be the only logical reason. The day that I thought I would die the morning brought the heavy weight of death on me and a very British grey sky to match. I carried death around with me all day. Fucking hell death weighs a ton.
Eventually I came to terms with it and promptly did a lot of things to fill my last day on this earth I've got so used to. I can't fully remember what most of those things were except for walking the dog with the wind whipping my hair around my face.
Going over my funeral in my mind it occurred to me I ought to warn someone that I was unexpectedly going to pop my clogs. A few minutes later I was on the PC clicking the send button; an email telling Sam "HELP IM GOING TO DIE . . . .SOON!" lay innocently in her inbox.
Then death decided to give me a break and by the evening I'd almost forgotten about my impending death. Later when I came online for my regular evening chat with Sam I found I'd left her in a worried suspense. At first I was completely baffled at what she was going on about. Then after she'd kindly reminded me I explained the whole thing to her. Sam wasn't freaked out not even slightly. It turns out she's been through similar experiences and after talking it through with her I felt much better. Once again Sam managed to keep me grounded.
Another thing I sank my claws into recently was the ambition to become a nun, that however is a different story. . . .
BOOGIE
posted by Boogie @ 10:45 PM
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